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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639393">there's a story inside these walls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusdamage/pseuds/siriusdamage'>siriusdamage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parenting, Blaine Anderson &amp; Tina Cohen-Chang Friendship, Blaine's Father (Glee)'s A+ Parenting, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, Cheerio Blaine Anderson, Depressed Blaine Anderson, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hospitals, Hurt Blaine Anderson, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mild Blood, Pam Anderson Is a Good Mother, Self-Harm, but im tagging it bcs their friendship is so sweet, but just a bit, its like one line, its like one line tho, its mostly just hurt, kurt being the best boyfriend in the world, nothing graphic though, pam anderson is trying her best, this is just me reading into one scene and building a whole tl based on it. dont mind me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:22:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25639393</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusdamage/pseuds/siriusdamage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Blaine is admitted to the hospital, Pam and Kurt have a conversation. Kurt finds some things out about Blaine.</p><p> </p><p>not a happy fic. its more,,, bittersweet?? warning for self-harm, nothing graphic only mild depictions. this broke my heart to write. have fun!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Blaine Anderson &amp; Pam Anderson, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Pam Anderson &amp; Kurt Hummel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>there's a story inside these walls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>READ THE TAGS. PLEASE. warning for self-harm, i really just hurt blaine a lot in this one</p><p>this is a vent fic if im being honest. hope y'all enjoy my projecting my family onto the andersons</p><p>the title is from a song by freezing paint called blaze rodriguez! find it <a href="https://freezingpaintt.bandcamp.com/track/blaze-rodriguez-2">here!</a> go support him, his music is rad!</p><p>good luck and stay safe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kurt, Blaine, and Pam sat in silence in the hospital room. A lot of friends and family had been by to visit since Blaine had started to feel better. Sam and Tina had just left. Tina had brought Blaine a little plushie, probably from the gift shop, that now sat on the table next to the bed. Even Cooper called Blaine from L.A., giving an excuse as to why he couldn’t make it out to Ohio. Blaine believed the excuse, but Kurt was skeptical. Cooper was never the best brother to Blaine, Kurt wouldn't put it past him to lie to get out of having to avoid seeing him. His dad hadn’t come by but Kurt didn’t ask. Blaine didn’t talk about him. Blaine was now asleep in the hospital bed, curled up next to Kurt. Kurt held Blaine close, fingers running through and playing with his ungelled curls. Pam and Kurt had been making quiet conversation every once and a while, but it was nothing too profound or deep. </p><p>“He was such a happy kid, you know?” Pam said after a moment of silence. Kurt turned his head to her and saw her gazing down at Blaine asleep. She seemed like she was talking to no one in particular, just talking. “He was shy when he was really little, but he was always smiling.” </p><p>Kurt couldn’t quite pin down the expression on her face; her eyes looked sad, and yet her lips were curved in a slight smile. “He’s never really talked to me much about when he was a kid,” Kurt commented. “I mean, he told me about you. And Cooper last time he came to Lima. But that's all.”</p><p>“He never told you about his dad?” Pam asked and Kurt shook his head. He didn’t say anything, he wanted to listen to what Pam had to say. Blaine mentioned him a couple of times in passing, but never talked about him the way he did about his mother. Kurt never pushed, he figured he’d tell him in his own time. He never did. “They don’t get along,” Pam continued. “They did when he was a little kid. His father would take him camping during the summer. It was Blaine’s favourite thing. Just him and his father. I wasn’t there, neither was Coop. They were close, it was nice. He was happy” The small smile quickly faded from Pam’s face. “But Blaine got older, things became different. Tougher, for all of us. He started dancing and I was happy. I’d take him to lessons and sometimes to a friend’s house to rehearse. He normally didn’t talk much around other people, he was shy. I was happy he’d be making some friends,” That surprised Kurt. He knew Blaine as outgoing, always going out of his way to make new friends and meet new people. “Then he started going to piano lessons, then it was vocals. I was so happy he’d found something he loved, he was having so much fun. His dad was… less happy about it.</p><p>“He said I needed to stop indulging him, he didn’t want his son to be doing that. He said he knew Blaine. Blaine went camping with him, he used to go fishing. He wasn’t like this, he was better than that.” Pam sighed, pausing for a moment to rub her eyes. “He said he wanted Blaine to be realistic, not like his brother. Cooper already had his heart set on Hollywood, they’d fought a lot about it already. Cooper left as soon as he could, he was a lost cause. So his father turned his focus to Blaine. He said he wanted him to go to college, get a ‘real job’, don’t follow in Cooper’s footsteps. His father meant well, I do believe he did. He just went about it the wrong way. Every conversation turned into a fight about how Blaine needed to cut it out, stop being so damn queer and go back to before. Go back to when he was normal. I still remember them screaming about it in the living room. I’d stand in the kitchen and listen, I never knew what to do or how to stop them. I just… I just stood there.” Pam sniffled and it was then that Kurt realized that Pam had tears in her eyes. She hadn’t cried yet through this whole thing. Not when they found Blaine unconscious in the bathroom, the white parts of his Cheerios uniform stained a crimson red. Not when he was rushed to the hospital, not when they didn’t know if he was going to make it or not. Not when they were able to see him once he woke up, 27 stitches and a whole lot of painkillers later. She didn’t shed a single tear. But now she was looking back on everything. Everything that had happened, that he had done, she had done, the things she could have stopped, could have said. Kurt reached over with the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Blaine’s sleeping body and took her hand in his. </p><p>“It’s okay,” He reassured. </p><p>Pam nodded. Kurt thought she wasn’t going to keep going, but a few moments later she began again. </p><p>“Blaine stopped talking to us.” Her voice was getting shaky now. “He left early for school and got home late, he’d go straight to his room and only left for food. He stopped dance, stopped going to his vocal coach. He stuck with the piano, but he only played on the keyboard he had in his room. When I did see him, I didn’t see that happy little kid. He wasn’t smiling, not ever. He was withdrawn, it was like I had lost him.” Kurt watched Pam, listening closely. Blaine never told him any of this, though it made sense. He knew Blaine had it rough before he had made it to Dalton. “It was like that for years. And then, when Blaine was 14, he told us. He said his school was having a Sadie Hawkins dance and he was going. His dad looked happy at first, probably glad his kid finally got himself a girl. But then he told us he was going with a boy named Liam. I didn’t know him, but you know how Lima is. Small town, people know who people are. Liam was the only out gay kid. His father was furious. He yelled and screamed and Blaine did the same back. I tried to get his father to calm down. I told him that’s his son and I-” She stopped herself for a moment. Kurt gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and a sympathetic look. “It didn’t matter what I tried to say. He looked at Blaine like he was a freak, something other than the boy we raised and loved. Blaine eventually gave up, he ran to his room yelling that he was going to that dance whether his father wanted him to or not.”</p><p>Kurt sighed. “He told me about the dance but he-” Kurt had to pause for a moment to blink back a few tears, trying to keep them from falling. Hearing this happened to Blaine broke his heart, but this was Pam’s moment, not his. “He never told me about that.” </p><p>“Then you know what happened next.” Pam went on to explain almost exactly what Blaine had told him; he went to the dance with Liam. He said Liam's dad would drive them home, but while they were waiting they were jumped by a bunch of homophobic bullies. The boys ended up being taken to the hospital. What Blaine didn’t tell him was that his dad never showed up while he was there. Just like now, he was too bitter to show up. When he got home from the hospital, all Blaine’s father did was yell at him more, tell him he shouldn’t have gone in the first place. “He said, ‘if you’re going to be a fairy, just keep it in private’,” is what Pam had told him. “Blaine only got worse after that, he spent so much time alone in his room, even more than before which I didn’t think was possible. I found bloody tissues in his trash can one day. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything when I saw the bloody bandages from what were very clear straight parallel lines, something I knew was a bad sign. But I didn’t know what to do. It was like I was losing him and I couldn’t do anything. His dad wouldn’t believe me if I told him, he’d probably just say it was some teenage bullshit.” Pam sniffled again, pulling her sleeve over her hand to wipe her face. “And then one day he told me about Dalton Academy. He told me about their bullying policy, how he’d feel safer there. And then he told me it was a boarding school,” Kurt knew this. Staying in dorms was optional for Dalton students, but nearly all of them did. Kurt stayed at home with his family, mostly because they couldn’t afford to stay in a dorm. They could barely afford to send Kurt to Dalton. “It broke my heart. I didn’t want to see him go, not after Cooper had left home to go so far away so soon and especially not after what I had found in that trash can. But he wanted it, so I went with it. I told his father and we agreed we’d let Blaine attend. His father said he’d have to come home on weekends, which Blaine agreed to.” Pam’s smile was creeping back onto her face, contrasting with the tears that were still wet. “And I think he really found his place there. He called me after a few days there, told me how awesome everything was and how nice everybody was being to him. A little while later he joined the Warblers, and then he met you.</p><p>“He was so happy,” Pam had stopped crying now. “He talked about you so much. He told me about how good you were with the Warblers and how kind you were. He told me about Pavarotti and how you sang Baby It’s Cold Outside together. And then when he told me you two were together, well, let’s just say it wasn’t much of a surprise.” Kurt was smiling now too. He had no idea he had that much of an effect on Blaine. “He was happy at Dalton, but he got so much happier when he met you. It was like I got my boy back.” </p><p>“I didn’t realize,” Kurt was in shock. “I didn’t know I did that much for him and I… I didn’t know how much he was struggling before he met me.” </p><p>“You wouldn’t have known,” Pam smiled affectionately at Kurt, squeezing his hand. “He always hid it well. I… I didn’t even know he was still doing it. I thought he was done. I thought he was fine, now that he’d met you and he was doing okay.”</p><p>“I didn’t either if it makes you feel any better.” Kurt shifted his gaze down to Blaine, still asleep. “I’d seen scars. We didn’t talk about it. They looked old. I never thought he’d do anything like this,” Kurt started to tear up again. “If I knew, maybe I could’ve stopped this from happening-”</p><p>“Hey,” Pam cut him off. “None of that, okay? You tried your best. So did I. It’s okay.”</p><p>Kurt felt Blaine move in his lap. Both Pam and Kurt looked down at him and he slowly moved to bring his head up. she reached a hand up to rub at his eyes. </p><p>“Morning, sweetheart,” Pam said with a smile. </p><p>“Mornin’,” Blaine said groggily. “What were you guys talking about.”</p><p>“You,” Kurt said softly. “All good things, no need to worry.</p><p>Pam nodded. “All good things.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope y'all enjoyed my shitty vent fic</p><p>pLEASE if you are suffering with anything contact a crisis line, you can find a list of worldwide suicide prevention hotlines <a href="http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html">here</a> and a crisis text line <a href="https://www.crisistextline.org/">here.</a></p><p>stay safe out there folks!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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